Do the dishes or else

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So you don't want to do the dishes tonight? Want your significant other to do all the work?

Well, make sure you know your special someone well. Otherwise, you could get bitten and have a picture frame broken across your face.

Oh yes, and you could be attacked with a sword.

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Kids unable to read, write, add properly

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Schools are not doing the job, kids are not learning, and the country is going to a hell in a handbasket. Fortunately, this time, the news isn't about this country. This time it's in England, where a headline reads "Half of teenagers leave school unable to read, write or add properly." Despite a rise on 2007, only 47.6 percent of pupils achieved the desired five A* to C-grade GCSEs including English and maths , leaving ministers struggling to hit a 53 percent Treasury target by 2011. Got it? If not, maybe you're a "maths" person. Well, at least there's this bit of good news in the story: Statistics published today by the Department for Children, Schools and Families show that 440 schools are currently falling short of this benchmark - though that is an improvement on last year's dire figure of 631. So it seems to be getting more gooder than worser.
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Humor Me: Holiday brag letter

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