Thursday, February 28, 2008

Drink G2 and you can say you're an athlete

One of my new favorite products on the market is G2, from the makers of Gatorade. It's a "low-calorie electrolyte beverage designed for athletes off the field."

It's one of the dumbest things out there, and yet bound to make tons of money.

According to the Web site, "results indicate that athletes often do a poor job at hydrating off the field."

It goes on to say:

"One of the challenges with off the field hydration is calories. Many athletes prefer fewer calories in an everyday beverage."

Well, maybe their everyday beverage should be water. You'll save 25 calories against every eight ounces of G2, which despite all its hype about electrolytes, is actually this:

Kool-Aid for adults. (Adults who are embarrassed that their favorite Kool-Aid flavor is "Purplesaurus Rex.")

I think one of the flavors for G2 should be GiveItUp-Berry, perfect for the 40-year-old who can jump three inches off the ground but spends $60 bucks for an UnderArmour shirt and $250 for Air Jordans.