From the Department of Beyond Weird:
A 35-year-old woman who apparently spent two years in her boyfriend's bathroom in Ness City had become stuck to the toilet seat, authorities said Wednesday.
How? Glad you asked.
"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself," Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said in a telephone interview, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.
Outrageous. Kind of sad, too, but I'll still point out the funny connection of a comment from a sheriff with the name "Whipple."
You know Mr. Whipple, don't you?