Showing posts from May 25, 2008

'80s Flashback: Roller skating

Friday is here again, so it's time for another '80s Flashback.

Before a word from our sponsor, here are the recent '80s Flashbacks:

'80s Flashback: Garbage Pail Kids
'80s Flashback: Just Say No
'80s Flashback: Freddy Krueger
'80s Flashback: Atari
'80s Flashback: OP corduroy shorts
'80s Flashback: Parachute pants
'80s Flashback: Rambo cartoon
'80s Flashback: Psyche!
'80s Flashback: Jim and Tammy Faye
'80s Flashback: Avoid the noid
'80s Flashback: Mary Lou Retton
'80s Flashback: One night in Bangkok
'80s Flashback: Adams Atoms
'80s Flashback: Don't you forget about me

OK. This week's flashback is brought to you by the '80s new wave pop star hairdo, as shown here. Even if you weren't a member of A Flock of Seagulls, your hair could look like you had a bird on your head.

Now for the flashback:

Roller skating was a big part of the '80s. It was big for birthday parties, it was a teenage hangout away from the mall, and it …

Mariah Carey's first pitch

Mariah Carey threw out the first pitch recently at a pro baseball game in Japan.

I'm not sure you could call it a throw, however, because the ball landed about five feet in front of her. But it was perhaps the best pitch ever thrown while wearing ridiculous high heels.

The whole thing only took about 10 seconds, equal to the amount of time before most people realized her movie, Glitter, would make a few "worst movies ever" lists:

A different kind of roids in baseball

If you're a baseball player and you haven't been playing well, it's good to know that the manager is behind you. It's even better when that manager backs you up publicly.

In most cases, anyway. But for Detroit Tigers third baseman Carlos Guillen, maybe it was better to suffer in silence. Here's what his manager had to say:

"He can hardly move -- he's got hemorrhoids so bad. He's been playing with hemorrhoids that probably need to be lanced."

Fans will remember Guillen for that for a long time. But maybe it will get him into a commercial like this:

NewsRadio: Great TV from the '90s

Before there was The Office, there was NewsRadio.

A lot of similar qualities, which is why I like both shows. Dave Foley of Kids in the Hall and former Saturday Night Live star Phil Hartman were great on the show, and at that time, Joe Rogan had not yet hooked up with Fear Factor to become one of the most annoying TV hosts ever. Andy Dick was probably getting more whacked out by the day, but that's jumping to another subject.

Anyway, here's a clip from NewsRadio. Foley is the office boss, Hartman is the big radio personality and they are battling over Hartman's pretentious use of a cane:

Caskets for baseball fans and Trekkies

For all the baseball fans out there, if you want to stay in the pennant race for an eternity ...

"For many baseball fans, rooting for that special team was a lifelong commitment. That is the inspiration behind Eternal Image’s extraordinary line of urns and caskets, each individually reflecting one of the 30 Major League Baseball teams."

Also available ... Star Trek:

After ten movies and five television series, phrases like “Live long and prosper,” “Resistance is futile” and “Space: the final frontier” have become part of our global vocabulary.

Perhaps those phrases can be part of a William Shatner halting-speech-pattern eulogy that boldly goes where none has gone before.

Cheese rolling, people crashing

I assume most people have heard of the annual cheese rolling event over in the U.K. But when I was telling some people about it the other day, they thought I was crazy.

No, I'm not. But the people competing?

Yes, yes, yes. Below is a link to some video of the latest edition of throwing yourself down a hill to chase a block of cheese.

Great quote from the story about it:

"I did absolutely no preparation for this."

Really? The only way I think you can prepare is by preregistering for your emergency-room visit.

Oh yeah. Don't try this at home. Or on a hill near your home.

The nude flight is off

A German travel company said last week it has decided to scrap a special nude flight that had been scheduled for this summer.

The reason:

There was no good reason to have it in the first place. Also, the tax to steam clean every seat after the flight made the price of the tickets a little steep.

Actually, the real reason, according to this story:

The firm organizing the service to a picturesque Baltic Sea island said it has had second thoughts after "moral objections" in the media and from visitors to its Internet portal.

I like this passage in the story:

The 50 people with tickets would have boarded the flight in the eastern city of Erfurt fully clothed, but once on the plane would have been free to undress and enjoy the rest of the journey as nature intended.

Yes, as nature intended for humans to be flying through the air.

Ticket-buyers will receive a full refund as well as a voucher for other products offered by the company, which I believe includes bulk-size containers of sunblo…

Humor Me: So long, old friend

I've loved dogs my whole life, but Casper was extra special. Maybe it was because he was the reason I met my wife. Or maybe it was because he was just an amazing dog.

Anyway, he passed away on Memorial Day a year ago. I wrote a column about him the following week and it remains the column that has received the most feedback. During June of last year, I received more than 500 e-mails about the column, plus phone calls, letters and several stuffed animals. (My 2-year-old son, Cooper, sleeps with one of the stuffed animals).

I still receive an occasional e-mail about the column because it has made its way around the Internet, especially on sites dedicated to dogs and West Highland Terriers. But the column is no longer posted at The Dallas Morning News, or at least it's hard to find, so I figured I would post it here.

I'll always have great memories of Casper. He was far from perfect, but he epitomized why I love dogs. Here's the column:

HUMOR ME: So long, old friend