Showing posts from May 18, 2008

Is that really cooking oil?

If you take a trip to Zimbabwe, make sure you ask a lot of questions about how your food was cooked. For example, you might want to ask this:

Was this food cooked in oil that was purchased from a man selling bottles containing a liquid that he claimed was cooking oil?

Or you can live dangerously. Your food probably wasn't cooked in urine.

'80s Flashback: Garbage Pail Kids

Friday is here again, so it's time for another '80s Flashback.

Before a word from our sponsor, here are the recent '80s Flashbacks:

'80s Flashback: Just Say No
'80s Flashback: Freddy Krueger
'80s Flashback: Atari
'80s Flashback: OP corduroy shorts
'80s Flashback: Parachute pants
'80s Flashback: Rambo cartoon
'80s Flashback: Psyche!
'80s Flashback: Jim and Tammy Faye
'80s Flashback: Avoid the noid
'80s Flashback: Mary Lou Retton
'80s Flashback: One night in Bangkok
'80s Flashback: Adams Atoms
'80s Flashback: Don't you forget about me

OK. This week's flashback is brought to you by "Small Wonder," the '80s show that seemed to forecast hell freezing over by staying on the air for several years. It was a bad idea with even worse acting. Even the intro seemed to be outdated in the '80s. (You can see the intro here.)

Now the Flashback:

Garbage Pail Kids were a series of trading cards that parodied the nauseating cutenes…

Abilify: Serious side effects

I admit I know little about bipolar disorder. Sounds like a terrible condition for people suffering from it, and it must be, because a medicine that treats it has one of the longest side-effects warnings I've ever seen.

I saw the commercial for Abilify the other night, and noticed that someone posted the warnings of the commercial on YouTube. It includes consulting your doctor if

"you have muscle movements that cannot be stopped, as these can become permanent."

The commercial is below. It reminds me of the Happy Fun Ball parody from Saturday Night Live.

A haircut like Daddy's

When I got home from work last night, my wife warned me that my 5-year-old son, Ryan, decided he wanted a new kind of haircut. He wanted to look like me, he said.

So he's now got a buzz cut, which I think looks pretty good. It does look like my hair, except that Ryan has brown hair and it still covers the top of his head.

Ryan's brother Cooper, soon-to-be 3, just stayed with his normal haircut. That's no surprise because Cooper often tells people that "Daddy's hair is broken and he needs new hair."

At least he's looking out for me.

HBO's lineup in 1987

Recently I saw an advertisement for HBO from 21 years ago. Here's what HBO was hyping in 1987:

Sylvester Stallone in Cobra
Back to School
The Karate Kid, Part II
Poltergeist II: The Other Side
JoJo Dancer

Wimbledon (tape-delayed)
Cyndi Lauper's concert in Paris

A little bit stronger programming these days, huh?

The 175-dollar hamburger

Let's see ... how did that Big Mac commercial go?

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, black truffles, seared foie gras, aged Gruyere cheese, wild mushrooms and flecks of gold leaf on a brioche bun.

Well, that started as the Big Mac. Then it became the Big Stupid when the black truffles were put on. But apparently someone will pay $175 for the burger at the Wall Street Burger Shoppe. It's a lot like the two-dollar version pictured, but it also includes a super-sized shot of pomposity.

"Wall Street has good days and bad days. We wanted to have the everyday burger (for $4) ... and then something special if you really have a good day on Wall Street," said co-owner Heather Tierney.

Or maybe you could spend the $175 on something more special than a freakin' hamburger. But hey, if that's what you want, go for it.

Don't forget to use a napkin if some foie gras and flecks of gold leaf get on your chin. If you don't have a napkin, just use a twenty…

Camouflage beer cans

Miller High Life and A-B's Busch both have a long heritage of affiliating with the outdoors. The brands index high with blue-collar consumers 45-65 years old. Their drinkers also skew higher, compared with the general population, for such activities as target shooting, hunting, fishing, watching the Outdoor Channel or Country Music TV, and subscribing to publications like Field & Stream.

That makes sense to me. So ...

Why not camouflage beer cans?

Well, maybe endorsing the connection of liquor with hunting might not be a great idea. But don't tell that to the beer makers.

According to the story, Miller High Life will roll out its "Camo Can" this fall to catch the eyes of hunters, fishing enthusiasts, campers and mountain bikers.

Yep. Mountain bikers need camo, too.

Humor Me: Planning a cheapskate vacation


Most people never forget their family vacations. They remember the fun and laughter at an amusement park. They remember the excitement of getting on a plane bound for a faraway place. They remember the great adventures, such as when dad didn't notice the "warning: low clearance" sign on the gas station overhang and knocked the air conditioner off the rented motor home.

Ah, memories. But those memories come at a price. And for many families, especially with gas prices what they are, the price is too steep. So what is a family to do this summer? Is there a way to construct a family vacation that won't deconstruct the retirement account?

Yes, yes, yes. But it does require a little creativity and a healthy dose of imagination. So as you close your wallet, try opening your mind to the exciting ultra-cheap possibilities of a pseudo-traditional getaway.

The Beach Vacation

The sun on your face, the sand between your toes, the calming effect of waves crashing on a So…