Shoot, I can't scratch that itch

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Ever get an itch on your back that you can't quite reach?

I'm guessing you never considering extending your reach by using a revolver.

Good thing.

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Drink G2 and you can say you're an athlete

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One of my new favorite products on the market is G2, from the makers of Gatorade. It's a "low-calorie electrolyte beverage designed for athletes off the field." It's one of the dumbest things out there, and yet bound to make tons of money. According to the Web site , "results indicate that athletes often do a poor job at hydrating off the field." It goes on to say: "One of the challenges with off the field hydration is calories. Many athletes prefer fewer calories in an everyday beverage." Well, maybe their everyday beverage should be water. You'll save 25 calories against every eight ounces of G2, which despite all its hype about electrolytes, is actually this: Kool-Aid for adults. (Adults who are embarrassed that their favorite Kool-Aid flavor is "Purplesaurus Rex.") I think one of the flavors for G2 should be GiveItUp-Berry, perfect for the 40-year-old who can jump three inches off the ground but spends $60 bucks for an UnderArmour...
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Humor Me: How bumper stickers could decide the Presidential election

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At this point, I’m sure everyone has seen a poll that shows the presidential election will be tighter than spandex. Even a Facebook poll I saw predicts the race as a dead heat, while also reporting that nearly 100 percent of those surveyed are tired of people posting photos of what they’re having for lunch. Obama or Romney, Romney or Obama – it’s down to the wire. And it’s so close that the election could be decided by a single hot-button issue such as same-sex marriage, birth control or immigration regulation. It all depends on the swing voters, the political experts agree. But it might also depend on bumper stickers, according to one person who has zero expertise but was recently cut off by a car displaying an “I love my French Bulldog” sticker. It might seem weird, but at that moment, I didn’t care much for French Bulldogs. I might’ve even had some unpleasant thoughts about France. Now imagine if it was an Obama or Romney bumper sticker. Makes you think, doesn’t it...
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My New Novel: 3 Seats from the Hero

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Theodore Meyer has been called Teddy, T-Dawg, the boy with Down syndrome, and the kid who is lucky to be alive. But what he really wants to be called is important. In my new novel 3 Seats from the Hero , two boys bond as first graders. Michael is the can’t-miss kid, the boy everyone talks about, the boy everyone wants to be around. Teddy is the baseball star’s little brother, the boy who dreams bigger than his challenges, the boy who longs to prove he is more than special. Teddy and Michael take different paths through childhood, but as they grow and change, their unique connection remains. They are at the center of their intertwined families, who watch the friends step forward, stumble backward, and then make a decision that changes their lives forever. 3 Seats from the Hero is a portrait of two boys and their families laughing, learning, sharing, and sacrificing. It’s a story of parents and children, brothers and sisters, the things that bring us together, and the...
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