Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The most unauthentic Texas Rangers jersey ever -- and the 5-year-old who loves it

Recently it was Throwback Jersey Day at my house. Or more specifically, it was Make Your Own Jersey Day at my house. Or to be perfectly honest, it was Find a Way to Make Your 5-year-old Happy So You Don't Have to Hear Him Whine Day (FAWTMY5HSDHTHHWD for short).

As you can see, Nathan is rockin' a very unauthentic looking Ian Kinsler jersey. For those who aren't familiar with the Texas Rangers, Kinsler is the team's starting second baseman. Kinsler is also Nathan's favorite player, although Nathan also really likes Rangers relief pitcher Joe Nathan (for obvious reasons).

All three of my sons have Rangers shirts, but unfortunately, the store did not have one in Nathan's size with Kinsler's name and number on the back. It was just a red shirt with Rangers on the front. So my wife got out the masking tape and put a number 5 on the back. Then she got out some paper -- and yes, that is lined white paper, which I think really adds to the look -- and wrote Kinsler on it. Janell probably deserves an upgrade on her Mother's Day present because, being so familiar with all the Rangers players, I'm sure she had to look up Kinsler's name to spell it correctly.

And presto! ... Nathan has a Kinsler jersey. He doesn't even seem to mind that it looks a wee bit different than his brothers' Rangers shirts. He's worn it over to the park to play baseball, and he wore it to his brother's baseball game last night.

This morning Nathan asked me if I knew when it would be Kinsler's birthday, and although that's easy enough to find out, I'm not sure I should tell him. I don't want to be considered an accessory to stalking.

Nathan has his first tee-ball game this week, and his team is the Rangers. He'll get his jersey this week, and I'm waiting for his request for the jersey to be Kinsler-ized. If you see a lefty hitting off a tee this weekend with a jersey augmented with masking tape and packing tape, give a cheer for him.

You can yell "Kinz!"

I think Nathan will respond to that.

*** 
You can use the buttons below to share the column on Facebook or Twitter. Click "Follow @humorcolumn" to get a Twitter update for new columns. To get columns by e-mail, type your address in the box under "Receive columns by e-mail" near the top right of this page. Thanks!



Most-read columns:
Yes, my 4-year-old fainted when he thought his mom had been turned into a robot
In praise of dogs, in memory of Maggie 
Where's the actual cat?
My aging dad's unintentionally alarming voice mails
Truth in customer service
Vacationing with the kids