Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Santa isn't so nice

My kids watched Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer a few days ago. It always brings back memories because I watched this every year as a kid. There's the Abominable Snowman's crazy eyes, Rudolph's nasally "She thinks I'm cute" and Hermie the elf's swoosh of blond hair, which makes him look like an early-'80s skater/surfer.

There's also that painfully bad/long "There's Always Tomorrow" song. I think that's generally when my brother and I would fight for a few minutes before the show would regain our attention.

But the thing that stands out to me most is this:

Santa does not come off well.

Actually, he appears to be a jerk. He gives Mrs. Claus a hard time, he seems generally rude and he actually condones discrimination based on having a red nose. When he first sees Rudolph, he's aghast.
"You should be ashamed of yourself," he tells Rudolph's father, Donner.
Way to go, big guy. Scar Rudolph for life.

But then, on one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say ... Well, he should've said he was sorry. Instead, you know the story. Here's what Rudolph's response should've been:
Really, you need me now because Christmas is in peril? Won't I be an embarrassment to you when people see my genetic difference that you were so quick to point out as a flaw? You should be ashamed of yourself.

And oh yes, I want a contract. Saving Christmas should be worth a pretty penny. Please speak with my agent.