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Showing posts from January 4, 2009

Humor Me: New Year's Resolutions

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By MATT WIXON

Welcome to 2009. A new year, a new start, a new opportunity to make your life everything you want it to be.

Starting tomorrow, of course. We’ll just forget about today, considering we're nearly a week into the new year and you’re lying in bed, trying to hit the snooze bar for the 10th time. You're probably still feeling that pain in your back that started when you woke up New Year's Day after a night of sleeping on your keys (while fully-dressed, with a bent-up party hat strapped to your head).

Did you ever find out what that red stain was on your shirt? Lipstick? Salsa? Blood?

OK, it doesn’t really matter. Today is the day to start self-improvement! Or tomorrow, or perhaps the next day, or maybe next week after you finish off the carton of cigarettes. Then it will be time to start your New Year’s Resolution.

Which, if you’re like most Americans, means deciding to get fit. In fact, it’s the No. 2 New Year’s Resolution, second only to resolving to make a resolution…