Friday, July 25, 2008

Oklahoma seeks state rock song

News from the Okie state ...

Nominations for Oklahoma's state rock 'n' roll song are being accepted through Thursday. In August, a panel of judges appointed by state officials will select 10 finalists. From Sept. 1 to Nov. 15, people can vote for their favorite. The winning song will be presented to the state legislature next year.

Any song written or performed by an Oklahoman is eligible. That means Oklahomans The Flaming Lips are in the running. I think they would be perfect.
Hey, do you know what the Official State of Oklahoma Rock song is?

Oh yeah ... it's "She Don't Use Jelly" by the Flaming Lips.

I think it would be fun to hear the song belted out at a state function:

I know a girl who thinks of ghosts
She'll make ya breakfast
She'll make ya toast
She don't use butter
She don't use cheese
She don't use jelly
Or any of these
She uses vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline

Writer rages against editors

I was a copy editor for many years before I returned to writing, so I've seen both sides of what can be a touchy relationship between a writer and editor. But I've always respected the point of view of the editors who I work with.

I could never imagine writing this. Not even with all the expletives.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

At China's Olympics, you are wonderful

China is making final preparations to host the Olympics, and part of those preparations include educating their citizens about what not to ask foreign visitors.

Among the taboo subjects:

What do you think of communism?

Actually, that's not on the list that's being posted on signs around Beijing. The eight subjects not to ask foreigners about are age, salary, love life, health, income, political views, religious beliefs and personal experiences.

Another interesting part of the story:
Another poster gives advice on talking to disabled people. Locals are told not to use phrases such as "It's up there,'' or "It's over there'' when talking to anyone who is visually impaired, and to avoid phrases such as "It's behind you'' to physically impaired athletes.

Instead, locals are recommended to use phrases such as, "You are really great," or "You are wonderful."

So a conversation might go like this:

Excuse me, can you tell me where the elevator is?

You are really great. You are wonderful.

Uh ... OK, thanks. I guess I'll find it myself.

Also, examples of Chinglish are supposedly getting wiped away by the Chinese government. So I don't know if "Crispy skin infections" and "God with vanilla" are still on the menu.

Coldest summer ever in Alaska?

If your personal heat index is through the roof, here's an cooling thought:

Anchorage, Alaska is on pace to have the coldest summer ever.

With the summer more than half over, Anchorage has had only seven days in which the temperature reached at least 65 degrees. This is no cause for celebration in Alaska, but ...

Sixty-five degrees sounds great right now.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Car smashes into a restaurant

Just a nice relaxing lunch until a car creates an unauthorized drive-thru. The man who was hit, and basically unhurt, handles it pretty well.

Dad, this will be hard for me to say

This morning. my 5-year-old son came up to me and said:

"Dad, it's going to be hard for me to tell you this."

It sounded like he was about to break up with me. That he had found a new dad or something. So after a long pause, I asked Ryan why it was going to be hard to tell me something.

He said, "because I have the hiccups."

He then proceeded to tell me -- in great detail and in between hiccups -- how it is difficult to talk when you have the hiccups. Then he forgot the other thing that he was going to tell me.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

An enormous homemade slip-n-slide

It's the kind of thing I would've loved to build when I was little. It's also the kind of thing that will probably lead to a hospital visit when my three sons get older.


http://view.break.com/539734 - Watch more free videos

If you have a 36-inch sword, watch your foot

A woman accidentally stabbed herself in the foot with a 36-inch sword over the weekend. What an exciting weekend!

Police said she was performing a Wiccan ceremony in a cemetery. And here's the "well, maybe a Wiccan ceremony creates bad karma" part:
She said in an interview Monday that she'd had a run of good luck recently and wanted to give thanks with the rite.

The story also features this great quote:
"It wasn't the first time I performed the ritual, but it was the first time I put a sword through my foot."

My finger was bitten off! Again!

The weirdness of this woman's life is established in the first paragraph of the story:
The first time Jacqueline Wimbush got into a fight and lost a fingertip, doctors managed to save it.

Yep, the FIRST time she lost a fingertip in a fight. How do you lose a fingertip twice in a fight? What kind of fighting is this?

Here's how it happened:
"When I looked at my hand," she said. "I saw she had bitten my finger off. And my finger was on the ground in front of me."

It's even more tragic because the finger that was bit off was the finger that the woman hoped would someday bear a wedding ring. "I don't know who's going to put a ring on a nub," she said in the story.

Of course, she might have some other obstacles to that fantasy wedding. She's been arrested 30 times and served prison time for charges such as robbery and grand theft.

Maybe the saddest part of the story is her current occupation:

She works with kids at a day care center. Wow.