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Showing posts from June 29, 2008

Humor Me: Red, white and Rubik

By MATT WIXON This week Americans will flock to the nearest open space for Independence Day. We’ll put out our flags, watch fireworks explode into beautiful colors and ooh and ahh at the patriotic feeling we get when Calamine lotion is rubbed on our mosquito bites. That’s what celebrating the greatest country in the world is all about. Finding a fire-ant-free spot in the park, watching people dance around with glow-in-the-dark tubes on their heads and listening to patriotic Americans unintentionally remix The Star Spangled Banner: The bombs and their glare, The rockets burstin’ in the air, Gave proof ‘til one night, That our fight wasn’t fair ... Independence Day is a great time to be an American, obviously. But I hope you enjoy the long weekend, because the next national day of rest –- and/or intoxication –- isn’t until Labor Day. That means eight straight five-day weeks, unless you have vacation plans or can finagle time off next week for International Puzzle Day. Yes, I know that In

New Zealand man selling his soul

A New Zealand man has put his soul up for auction to the highest bidder , noting that it is "a merry old soul" rather than a "funk soul brother" but that he would "would like to think there is a bit of funk in there somewhere." Does this mean he will now be a part of this group ? In other auction-related news, you still have 30 minutes to get a bid in on the Wood Devil Door .

Tom Brady arrested

This just in: Tom Brady arrested for lewd conduct in a McDonald's drive-thru. But it's probably not the Tom Brady you're thinking of, especially if you're a football fan. The alleged lewd conduct involves a different Tom Brady, which is probably what this Tom Brady's parents are telling their friends. From the story: "Brady was transported to the Fairfax County Adult Detention Center and charged with two counts of indecent exposure and one count of indecent gestures." Exposures and gestures. He has lots of explaining to do.

We're No. 16!

The World Happiness Rankings are in, and the USA is No. 16 . Denmark is the happiest. Zimbabwe is the least happy. And, in a stunner, the survey finds people of rich countries tend to be happier than those of poor countries. I bet if gas prices were about two bucks a gallon in America, we would be in the top 10. We love our big cars.

Back from vacation

Returning from vacation is never easy. All the e-mail to respond to, all the work that has piled up, all the energy that has drained from you. Vacations are supposed to recharge your batteries, but whether I go somewhere for vacation or stay home, I return in a bit of a daze. But it was a good vacation, highlighted by my son's Diego -themed birthday. Cooper is now 3 years old, but he claims to be 4, and he also continues to claim that his name is not Cooper. "It's Big Brother," he says. So now I'm back at work, and I'm feeling more positive every minute. It's a good job, after all. And there's only 30 more years until I retire. Oh wait ... 31. The stock market is down again.